Finally home

Here it is day two back at work,and still feel like I've been through the wringer.I have to be realistic and realize I just can't jump back into a crazy10 hour day. I have to stop betting myself up and take a stp back and not over do it.I also have to realize that even though he chemo is e same the side effects nd adverse reactions can be umulitive.So glad I don't work Fridays and have Shabbat nd he weekend to regain my strength .though not a common side effect of e interleukin II every time I put my nd through my hair large amounts are coming out ,so I guess my hir is thing and worse cae scenario if it starts to rely fall out I'll get a cute pity cut or something because its only hair and it will grow back but I'm putting he cart before the horse.

First day back at work

Here it is Wensday again ,and my first day back at work after my treatment last week.As usual a fully booked  clinic .But all that being sid I was really glad to be back & back in the swing of things.,though  I probably could have used another day at home recuperating.Im not trying to be a martyr I know that even working atbslower pace being there  tomtke care of my vets made a difference .Unfortunatly  still have the itches and hand pain but with Benadryl & Tylenol I made it through clinic.on the road to recovery ,getting stronger every day and with the support of my coworkers it makes it that much easier.

Another day of recuperating

Here it is Tuesday day 3 post  discharge from chemo.some of the post treatment side effects are still kicking my butt,the ,rash is gone but still itchy all over thanks g-d for Benadryl ,but my myalgias and neuropathy hasn't improved.but I know they will in time.but all that being said and done I'm feeling better and stronger each day.and hoping to return to work tomorrow.

Monday Monday !

Discharged from the hospital Saturday night ,just happy to be home in my own bed but OMG I have become so hypersensitive all my old allergies from my childhood strawberries now I also think ibuprofen ,thank g-d for Benadryl but I woke up with swollen puffin eyes the only thing I have done differently in the last couple of days is I took some Motrin before I went to bed last night.I'll just he to wait and see.
  Sunday was a struck day just chilled out and tried to keep from legs elevated since I'm still retaining  some of the fluid gain from the hospital.my folks visited and then we had a lovely family dinner with my parents,Simmi ,Izzy ,RafI,Yael,& my adorable great nephew Azriel and Motti.
 It's amazing how even after I completed my chemo and I'm home how these old allergies from childhood have resurfaced.At least I got a little more sleep last night.So today my goal is to relax,recuperate and regain my strength so I can return to work on Wed.

Finally Home

Here it is motzei Shabbat and so happy to be home .I also can't wait to sleep in my ownbef.i could not have made it through this past week without the love and support of my family and friends.Not unexpectedly the side effects kicked my butt but I was ready to deal with them.Avery. Special shout out to Nick Eckstein who stayed in the hospital with me over Shabbat I would have climbing the walls otherwise,another special shout out to my sister Simmi for supplying the yummy meals.and also my son Motti.
So cycle 2,course 2 finished fu ct scans in a couple of weeks,which will determine  the next step.

Friday completed chemo

Ask I sit here in my hospital room going over the past week . I realize that I am truly blessed.first of all I made through 12 infusions though the adverse reactions really get me down and I think that the hardest part. I really wasn't up to writing the last couple of days.but having my family and friends  near by either in person or keeping in contact by phone is touching and truly appreciateed.the question is to get get d.ischarched so I can be home for shabbat is a tough decision.i'm Unfortunatly still suffering the worst side effect of mall which is the diahrea.but being able to Skype with my sons and daughters in law in Isratel also makes a hugely difference .signing off for now wishing all my friends and family a Shabbat shalom and a restful weekend.

Day three

Had some unexpected company and visitors on Monday.helps  the day go by.  able to get almost three hours of sleep last night.now the fun begins infusion number six running.ten pounds of water weight on , my hands look like boxing gloves haha(not unexpected in fact last time I put a total of twenty pounds of water weight on.)still no apetite but I was antipating that. I'm still psyched to get through this and to get at least thirteen incisions this cycle  knowing how caring the staff is mass this journey that much easier to tolerate.

Day two

Here it is about six am Monday morning.the treatments yesterday were quite challenging but I think we have my cocktail down pat to avoid some of the more severe side affects from the chemo.
 Sleep is not something you get while an inpatient,so I manage with little act naps in between . This time I thought I would be smart and some homemade food with me ,it didn't quite work out as planned .once again Cold not make it through without the support of my family and friends.we a shooting for the full 14 infusions if I can push it through so three down 11 to go.

First day

Here it is Sunday morning checked in at Hackensack 5pw  before 9 am.There  is a great comfort in. knowing you are  not only comfortable but as familier with the staff as they  are with you.my cardiac moniter  is hooked up my medi port is accessed  the IV  hydration started . I am totally psyched to get this next course of chemo underway,It just bring me closer to my goal of not only feeling like my old self but beating this .

Shabbat Oct 18-19th 2013

Went into this Shabbat relaxed and ready to repairs myself for my next admission Sunday.as I lit the Shabbat candles and finished my tehillim I was spiritually preparing myself of what's to come next.I had a great Friday night dinner at Fern & Steve Roth,went to shul Shabbat morning with another great dear Torah by Rabbi glasses.Lunch with my next door neighbors the Galimidi's.came home to relax and had special company when Nechama Eckstein. Came by to keep me company and just chill she has been a huge help and source of support over the last few weeks.we even went to the malla nod for pizza just so I could get out tonight for a little while before being admitted tomorrow it was a break that I needed but also had a blast.
Once agin support of family and friends has been great inspiration and source of support,and when one least expects it card or a call comes through that heartens you and helps give you the strength and resolve to push through and persevere .I had a great Shabbat and I have faith that the coming week  will breeze by.

Psyched

Here it is Erevan Shabbat as I try and have actually been able  to psych myself for my admission Sunday for course 4 cycle 2 of my chemo.
  My day started nice and early  skyping  with all my kids in Israel .though I miss them all desperately  skyping is next next basest thing to seeing them in person.all the love and support just jumps through the computer, and there training  for the upcoming Tel Aviv marathon ,along with heir running for me just opens my heart.also skyping with my guy in California makes getting through my days so much easier.
  I am also determined to try to actually eat while I'm Ana in patient next week the tough thing is figuring out what to cook and bring with me since my taste buddy's are shot and I'm really into the spicy these days,so I'm making buffalo wings,I made rice I have some cold cuts,soup my diet ginger ale and ice team already to pack with me.I'm keeping my fingers crossed tabs I actually have a appetite next week.Signing off for now I'm hoping to continue posting while hospitalized next week wishing all my friends and family a great weekend and Shabbat shalom.
And once again I can't thank my friends and family enough for your love and support.

touched

 As I sit her at my desk on my last day of work prior to my next admission for chemotherapy on Sunday one of my major concerns this week was how I was  going to manage financially .I have no right to complain since  b"h I  have a good job with good  benefits and coworker,friends & family  who really care and understand, but the last fifteen months after my initial diagnosis and subsequent surgeries & treatment  have left me totally void of any vacation or sick time.(and being a federal employee on federal property there is no disability).
 But thanks to the  unbelievable generosity of my coworkers and the donated leave program not only has my mind been put as ease , but I can be admitted Sunday  for my next round of chemotherapy knowing how blessed I truly am with  the love and caring  from  all the people I am surrounded with at home and at work .There are just no words to describe what I'm currently feeling Thank you

trying to psych myself

Up early this morning made it to the hospital in plenty of time to have my cup of coffee before treating my patients for their bladder cancer.being treated for cancer myself has given me a whole new perspective and open my eyes to what my patients might be feeling and going through.But i know as I greet each one of them with a smile on my face and confidence in my steps helps get through this process.
 Wed. is always our busy day especially because we spend all day in clinic.But it does help the day go by faster.especially when some of the patients I've been following for years specifically request to see me.
 It is a source of encouragement and strength .As I left work today thinking about how to start to prep myself for my next admission for chemotherapy this Sunday,I decided to do a Costco run.I picked up some snacks for the hospital and a case of Attends briefs for the intractable diarrhea that I get while in the hospital (one of the fun side effects LOL )but I try and look at the bright side and have to keep laughing  for I realize that it is short lived and subsides in a day or 2 after the  infusions are finished.and that's a small  price I have to pay if I want to  beat this.I'm not looking for pity or sympathy .that this is just  a part of my life and routine right now.And I know with the support of my friends  and family it's just one short week that passes by quickly.

My personel journey

So as you can see I've now changed the tittle of my blog.What started out as a blog of my adventures in cooking and taken a huge turnThejourney begins Little over a 1 1/2 years ago when i was diagnosed with malignant melanoma on mid back.
 Now it's more than  1 /2 years later  six surgical procedures and a failed phase clinical trail of immunotherapy,I've come to what I think is a crossroads.
 Ive always had the attitude that I can beat this huge bump in the road but it gets real tough at times.when they Way a Little knowledge is dangerous being a PA or > 30 years can get to be  a real drag
 I am currently getting ready for 4th admission  and 4th cycle of high dose interleuken II,  this coming Sunday.for my metastatic melanoma.Though in reality I could not have made it to this point without the support of my family friends& coworkers whose daily encouragment makes getting up to go to work easier each day.The truth is it's truth what doesn't kill you   make you stronger and in fact the last year and 1/2 has not only strengthened my faith in G-d ,a stronger  person and and even better PA who can truly empathize with her patients .I'm planning to try and blog daily not just to keep all of my friends and family informed but to strengthen my own convictions that i will beat this.there are just too many things I still hope to accomplish in my life.